| | Informationi | | captain_loretta is a restricted area. Authorised personel only |
From Go-Quiz.com
Nice that they knew how to spell personnel.
Maybe they should have written "peeples".
I knew the rest of the world was mainly cunts, and now I know where to hire one. You Man Re-sauces.
Sorry, I meant "know i no wear 2 hyre 1."
My bad :) | comments: Leave a comment   |
| I was right!
For once, spamvicious was wrong, and I was right!
Oh joy, oh rapture, god... kill me now, for this will never happen again.
Okay, so it was about something crap, but the point still stands!
Do I get my free livejournal account now? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| let's make poverty history
I was unsure before, but the Live8 gigs have changed my mind.
I don't know how many of you watched the entire UK show, including the political bits, but I'm totally behind it now.
HOWEVER
Pariah Careless must be sent to a really nasty place in Africa, and have to eat the babies without the luxury of a chef, servant and air. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | You Were Actually Born Under: |  No worries, you're not really pig-like in your personality.
(Though you have been known to have a healthy appetite!)
You are highly intelligent - forever studying and gaining knowledge.
You have a heart of gold and you are appreciated by many.
You are most compatible with a Rabbit or Goat. | | You Should Have Been Born Under: | 
Your most comfortable inside your head - and often daydream the day away.
You have an artistic temperament that makes you seem creative to some, eccentric to others.
You avoid conflict at all costs, and you have a difficult time with relationships.
Attractive and with good manners, you tend to shine in social situations.
You are most compatible with a Pig or Rabbit. |
Shamelessly stolen from sassybobble | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| just a quick apology to all those that might feel I'm ignoring them.... I'm not, I'm just tied up in so much stuff at the moment, I don't know which way to turn.
I'll be back to normal soon, promise ;) | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| Hi. This is Leslie ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) laylavenus and I am taking over Steve’s journal for today’s entry. From what I’ve observed by sitting on his windowsill and watching him with my high-tech goggles of much tangible sight and insight, I feel that I can adequately portray Steve. This might be my most challenging role yet.
+++++
I woke up this morning. Being very nude and sweaty, I decided to shower. With a tall glass of voddie in one hand and using the other to wank, I bathed myself with my feet. Was very difficult, you know, not getting wash water into my drink.
I went to work. I saw my boss and secretly pictured him in his underwear to alleviate the stress that work has put me under this week. He wore little lace panties. With filthy stains. Very filthy stains.
I then mastered the art of sleeping on the job by painting fake eyes on my eyelids with the shades I only use on special dress-up days.
I peeked into Dame Maggie Smith’s bedroom today whilst she was putting her bra on. Was like rolling two very large, very long ciggies. I smiled and went to the bathroom to relieve myself.
I returned home and sat directly at my computer and got online, since I’ve been OFFLINE FOR FAR TOO LONG THIS WEEK.
Then I let some mad bint post on my livejournal. The End. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| Merry Christmas and all that mullarkey,
I'm off to a friends to get stuffed with tarkey.
:D | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Thankyou to all the friends that have listened to me over the last few days.
Big thankyou to all the friends that have shouted at me.
Biggest thanks to the friends who've made me laugh.
Bigger than biggest thanks to those that fall into all three categories.
Peace out,
(heart attack was nothing)
Extra Special THANKS to Kally, Tom Robinson, Stephen Knightley, Martin Joseph, Stephen "Pit Bull" Tompkinson, Lythtryth, Kally, Serena, Fergus, Tiff, Sas, Kevin, and last but by no means least, the award for best friend ever goes to Lady Duncan McCann. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| http://www.stevenisbet.com/TMBGITW.MP3
The Most Beautiful Girl by Norris Wilson, Billy Sherrill and Rory Bourke
Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did, was she crying, crying?
Hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl that walked out on me, tell her I'm sorry tell her: "I need my baby" Won't you tell her that I love her.
I woke up this morning and realized what I had done. I stood alone in the cold grey dawn; I knew I'd lost my morning sun.
I lost my head and I said some things; now come the heart-aches that the morning brings. I know I'm wrong and I couldn't see; I let my world slip away from me.
So, Hey, did you happen to see the most beautiful girl in the world? And if you did, was she crying, crying?
Hey, if you happen to see the most beautiful girl that walked out on me, tell her I'm sorry tell her: "I need my baby" Won't you tell her that I love her | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Dry Your Eye's, Mate - The Streets
I think that says it all. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Our diaries just aren't coinciding at the moment, and I'm missing my Spambug like a kidney... I can get on, but it would be so much easier if part of me wasn't missing.
(This was another loved-up post brought to you by Sainsbury's Merlot, the wine of the lovesick alcoholic.) | | comments: Leave a comment |
| (X) been drunk
(X) kissed a member of the opposite sex
(X) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) been to Japan
(X) ridden in a taxi
(X) been in love
(X) been dumped
(X) shoplifted
(X) been fired
(X) been in a fist fight
(X) snuck out of my parent's house
(X) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X) ever dated someone of the same sex
(X) had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back
(X) been arrested
(X) made out with a stranger
(X) stole something from my job
(_) celebrated new years in time square *make it any other square in the UK, and yes ;)
(X) gone on a blind date
(X) lied to a friend
(X) had a crush on a teacher
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans *(again, switch it to london or Brighton, and yes)
(X) been to Europe
(X) skipped school
(X) slept with a co-worker
(_) cut myself on purpose
(_) been married
(X) been to Canada
(_) had children
(X) seen someone die
(_) been to Africa
(X) skinny dipped
(X) slapped someone I loved
(_) driven over 400 miles
(_) been to Mexico
(X) been on a plane
(X) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(X) thrown up in a bar
(X) purposely set a part of myself on fire *although it was only arm hair, and it was very funny :D
(X) eaten seafood
(_) crashed your car
(X) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
(X) been in an abusive relationship
(X) gone to college
(X) graduated college
(X) love someone or miss someone right now
(_) egged a house/car etc...
(X) cheated on a test
(X) played strip poker
(_) gotten a ticket for speeding
(X) played spin the bottle while sober?
(X) ...while drunk? | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Okay, so I've done 2 QOHell meetups in the last 7 days, met loads of fab people and renewed old friendships, and I'm supposed to be in Ibiza tonight.
Thats love for you. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Okay, so I'm still in love. Doesn't mean I'm going to update with anything interesting to read. Move along, nothing to see here. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | How to make a Loretta |
Ingredients:
1 part anger
5 parts courage
5 parts leadership |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve with a slice of emotion and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
| | comments: Leave a comment |
| This not drinking mullarkey has played havoc with my sleep. I spend all day lying in bed dozing, then do pretty much the same all night. And the shite I've been watching on the tv....
Oh well, time for more dozing, I think, but I categorically refuse to watch The Hoobs, so I'll have to pick another DVD | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | This is gonna be harder than I thought... my mum just bollocked me... | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Okay... i'm wrecked now... but I'm gonna try and lay off the booze for a few days starting tomorrow... it's gonna be hard, but things are on the verge of getting beyond my control, so perhaps I ought to make an effort.
Don't get me wrong... I'm not quitting, I'm not gonna get all holier-than-thou, but i just feel I need to give my body and brain a chance to relax a bit. I've been on a bit of a bender the last few weeks, and need to calm down a bit.
I shall post regular updates with how it's going, and when I feel comfortable with it again, i shall throw a big online party and get really drunk again, but for the next few days, just bare with me.
But right now, i'm absolutely cunted, so CHEERS! | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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